So ugly it’s FUN

I suck at knitting. During my 17 day hiatus from posting, I’ve given it careful consideration. I have grievances that must be aired:

  1. My 16 year old neighbor decided to “try knitting” and her mom posted a picture of a perfectly functional and not f’ed up purple scarf.
  2. 4 people at my grandparents’ funeral asked if I had knitted the the cabled cashmere wrap I only wear at fancy occasions. Are you kidding me, people?
  3. Even my friend who knows better asked if I had knit a multicolored cape I bought last summer from an art fair.
  4. Is it knit or knitted when it’s past tense? I don’t even know.
  5. All the yarn I bought ends up being ugly when I knit something.
  6. I’m too embarrassed to wear reading glasses to knit…but I think I need to.
  7. My FB friends keep posting fun knitting patterns on my wall when I’m still traumatized by unraveling 3/4 of a scarfragcloth.
  8. Knitting takes away valued time spent staring at the wall.
  9. I’m pretty sure it takes like a month or longer to make an actual thing.

I could go on, but stopped to ask myself a question: what are you doing instead of knitting?

The answer is falling back into old patterns. These include not leaving the house as often as I should, becoming glued to my computer for unfocused hours editing my novel, blowing off the novel and spending hours reading inaccurate political articles by hostile people who don’t know what they’re talking about, online shopping and by this I mean loading my cart with 67 really expensive items just for fun and not buying anything, lecturing myself about unproductively, and finally tasting the peanut butter pretzels my kids like so now I’m hooked and eat them when I’m up at 3:30 in the morning.

By the way, it has been 301 days since I quit drinking. It feels like a dream (a very long, boring, sober dream). That is an old pattern I need to avoid. Rather than fall back into all the old patterns, I decided to take another stab at knitting.

Try not to be too impressed by my progress. That’s almost a washcloth there:

 

I am a beginner. I am not good. It can still be fun even if it’s ugly, uneven and has holes.I can improve by watching more Good Knit Kisses (snort!) videos on YouTube. I will knit something, someday, with sleeves. And I probably will not wear it.

One comment

  1. Commuter Knits · March 25, 2016

    “Inaccurate political articles by hostile people who don’t know what they’re talking about” 👌 most accurate assessment of the general internet I have read in a long time.

    Liked by 1 person

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